A good 1 on 1 with your manager comes from preparation. Before the meeting, write down what changed since last time, what is blocking you, one decision you need, and one topic about your growth. Bring those two or three items, put the most important first, and finish by agreeing actions with owners and dates. The meeting is yours as much as your manager's.
Most guidance on this meeting is written for the manager. This page is for the other chair: what to bring, how to raise awkward subjects, and how to make sure something happens afterwards. If you want the manager's view of format and cadence, read our guide to one-on-one meetings.
Key takeaways
- Treat the 1:1 as your meeting. Arrive with two or three written topics, most important first.
- Prepare in ten minutes: progress, blockers, one decision you need, one growth topic.
- Raise hard subjects such as pay, workload and feedback for your manager early in the meeting, with specifics.
- Share your agenda a day ahead so your manager can come with answers.
- Write down actions at the end, and open the next meeting by checking them.
Why the 1 on 1 is your meeting too
Many people treat the 1:1 as a slot where the manager asks questions and they answer. That wastes the best regular access to your manager that you have. It is the one place to get a decision made, ask for context you are missing, hear how your work is seen, and talk about where you want to go.
Managers generally cannot read your mind. If something is blocking you or you want a different kind of work, a 1:1 only helps if you say so. A person who arrives with a clear list also makes the manager's job easier, because the meeting stops depending on whatever they remembered to prepare.
How to prepare for a 1 on 1 with your manager
Ten minutes is enough. Do it the day before, not in the corridor on the way in.
- Review last time. Open your notes from the previous meeting. Which actions were yours, which were your manager's, and which happened?
- List what moved. Two or three lines on progress. Keep this short, because the meeting is not a status report.
- List what is stuck. For each blocker, note what you need: a decision, access, a person, or time.
- Pick one decision you need. If you want a yes or no on something, say so as a question with your recommendation.
- Pick one growth or feedback topic. Something you want to learn, a piece of feedback you want, or a change in your role.
- Put the list in order. If you only get 15 minutes, which item would you regret skipping?
Send the list ahead, or add it to a shared document if you have one. A manager who has read your topics can think about them first, which is especially useful for hard subjects. Our one-on-one meeting template has a shared-notes format you can copy.
A simple agenda for a 1 on 1 meeting with your manager
You do not need a complex structure. This order works for a 30-minute weekly or fortnightly meeting.
| Minutes | Item | What to bring |
|---|---|---|
| 0 to 3 | Personal check-in | How you are, in a sentence |
| 3 to 13 | Your priorities and blockers | The list from your preparation, with what you need |
| 13 to 20 | Feedback, both directions | One thing you want feedback on; one thing that would help you |
| 20 to 25 | Growth and career | A skill, a project, or a longer-term question |
| 25 to 30 | Actions | Who does what by when |
Treat the timings as a guide. If the first topic is the one that matters, let it run and move the rest to next time. What you should avoid is spending the whole meeting on status and discovering at minute 28 that you have not raised the thing you came for.
What to talk about in a 1 on 1 with your manager
If you are short of topics, work through these areas. You will not need all of them every week.
- Priorities. Is what I am working on the most important thing? What should I stop or delay?
- Blockers and decisions. What is slowing me down, and what do I need from you or someone else to clear it?
- Context. What is changing on the team or in the company that affects my work?
- Feedback. How is my work landing, and where could I do better?
- Growth. What skills, projects or responsibilities would help me develop?
- Workload and wellbeing. Is the amount and pace of work sustainable?
- Team and process. What is working or not working in how we collaborate?
- Your manager. What could they do differently to help you do your best work?
For specific wording of each, use our list of one-on-one meeting questions, which includes a section of questions for employees to ask. Here the aim is different: how to raise the topics that are hard to bring up.
How to raise the hard topics
Some subjects are easier to avoid than to say out loud. The 1:1 is the right place for them, and raising them early in the meeting works better than at the end, when time is gone.
Workload
Do not just say you are overloaded. Show the picture and ask for a choice. For example: "I have four things due this week and I can do three well. Which one should move?" This turns a complaint into a prioritization decision, which is the manager's job to make. If the overload is regular, bring the pattern, such as the last three weeks, and ask what would change it.
Pay and promotion
A regular 1:1 is a good place to start the conversation and a poor place to finish it. Tell your manager beforehand that you would like to talk about compensation or your level, so they can prepare. Then bring evidence: what you have delivered, how your scope has grown, and what the next level involves. End by asking about the process, who decides and when, and agree a date to come back to it. If the answer is not now, ask what would need to be true for it to be yes.
Career direction
Say what you are interested in, even if it is vague. "I would like to get more experience leading projects" is enough for your manager to look for a stretch assignment. Ask what they see as your strengths, and which gaps matter most for the role you want. Do not expect a promise. Ask for something you can act on: a project, an introduction, or a skill to build before the next meeting.
Feedback for your manager
This is the hardest one, and the most valuable. Keep it specific and about the effect on your work. Something like: "When priorities change mid-week without notice, I lose a day redoing work. Could we agree a quick message when that happens?" That is easier to hear than "communication could be better." If you cannot say it face to face yet, start smaller, with one request about how you prefer to work, and build from there. The SBI feedback model (situation, behavior, impact) is a useful frame when you speak up.
A disagreement or a problem with a colleague
Describe what you have seen and what you have tried, and ask for help with a specific next step. Avoid asking your manager to take a side before they have the full picture. Our guide to difficult performance conversations is written for managers, and reading it shows you what a good conversation looks like from the other side.
Ask for feedback you can use
Do not wait for the annual review to learn how you are doing. Ask a narrow question: "What is one thing I could do differently on the next project?" works better than "How am I doing?" If the feedback is vague, ask for an example. If it is a surprise, ask when it first became a concern.
It also helps to arrive with your own view. Writing a few lines on what went well and what you would change, as you would for a self-assessment in your performance review, gives your manager something to react to and keeps the conversation honest on both sides.
After the meeting: how to follow up
The 1:1 only works if something changes afterwards.
- Write the actions down. Within an hour, note what was agreed, who owns it and the date. Share it with your manager if you use a shared document.
- Do your part first. Your credibility in the next meeting depends on having done what you said.
- Open the next meeting with the list. "Last time we agreed three things" is a better start than "so, what are we talking about?"
- Chase politely. If your manager's action slips, ask in the next meeting. Do not wait for several weeks.
- Keep a running log. A simple notes file of topics and decisions becomes useful evidence at review time.
When the 1 on 1 is not working
Sometimes the problem is the meeting, not you. Cancellations, constant interruptions, and 1:1s that turn into status updates all have fixes you can propose.
- If it gets cancelled often, ask for a fixed recurring slot and for rescheduling instead of skipping. Say that you value the time and want to keep it.
- If it becomes a status update, send your agenda ahead and ask to keep the first part for your topics. Move status to a short written message.
- If your manager never gives feedback, ask for it by name and give a date: "Could you tell me next week one thing to keep doing and one to change?"
- If you are not sure you can speak freely, start with low-stakes topics and see how they are received. A manager who responds well to small things earns bigger conversations. If it still does not feel safe, a skip-level meeting or an anonymous feedback channel may be a better route for some subjects.
1:1s are coming to FeedbackPulse in Q1 2027. Until then, a shared document and a recurring slot are all you need to start. If you are a manager reading this to understand what your team wants from the meeting, our guide to running one-on-one meetings is the place to go next.
Frequently asked questions
What should I talk about in a 1 on 1 with my manager?
Cover what you are working on and what is blocking it, feedback in both directions, your growth, and anything about workload or the team that is bothering you. Bring two or three written topics and put the most important one first. A 1:1 is your time, so it should not be only a status update.
How do I prepare for a 1 on 1 with my manager?
Spend ten minutes beforehand. Note what moved since the last meeting, what you are stuck on, one decision you need, and one topic about your development. Send the list a day ahead if you can, so your manager can come with real answers. Review your notes from last time to check what was promised.
What should the agenda for a 1 on 1 meeting with a manager look like?
A simple order works well. Start with a quick personal check-in, then your priorities and blockers, then feedback, then growth or career, and finish by agreeing actions with owners and dates. In a 30-minute meeting, give the first topic 10 minutes and keep the last 5 for actions.
Is it OK to ask for a raise in a 1 on 1?
Yes, though a regular 1:1 is better for opening the conversation than for settling it. Say in advance that you want to discuss compensation, bring specific evidence of your results and scope, and ask what the process and timeline are. If the answer is no for now, ask what would change it and when you can revisit.
How often should I have a 1 on 1 with my manager?
Weekly or every two weeks suits most roles, for 30 minutes. Weekly is better when you are new, the work is changing fast, or you need frequent decisions. If your manager cancels often, ask to fix a recurring slot and to reschedule instead of skipping.
What if my manager cancels or turns the 1 on 1 into a status update?
Name it calmly and propose a change. For example, ask to keep the first 15 minutes for your topics and handle status in writing. Send your agenda ahead so the meeting starts from your list. If cancellations continue for weeks, raise it directly as a question about priorities.